Wednesday, October 29, 2008

29 october 08...wed...

KidsAreQuick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are..

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir.. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

Monday, October 27, 2008

27 october 08...mon...

dEaR jUmJuM...

here r 3 stories my dad sent me which i find rather amusing...
happy reading!!

The Turtles

the turtle family decided to go on a picnic. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!

For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.

Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich.
At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, 'See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.'
> > > > LESSON ONE: Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.

The Frogs

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, 'There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs - millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!' So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.

The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, 'Well... where are all the frogs?' The farmer said, 'I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!'
> > > > LESSON TWO: Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.> > > > > >

The Pretty Lady

Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry her across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. 'How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?' thought the little monk. But he kept quiet. The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her.

All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further he burst out angrily at the big monk. 'How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite The big monk looked surprised and said, 'I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?'
> > > > LESSON THREE: This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away. We keep on carrying the baggage of the 'pretty lady' with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the 'pretty lady'. We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river, that is after the unpleasant event is over. This will immediately remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over.

Friday, October 24, 2008

24 october 08...fri

dEaR jUmJuM....

hng hng hng...
i'll juz write a list of d top 10 stuff tat annoys me...:

10. bad whistling...
(bad whistling is owez annoying...no matter by who)

9. (particularly SUMONE...but...as per usual, no names...thank goodness i dun c her much)
asking me for sum advice or another while making it seem rrrreeeelllliiii importantbut in reality, it isnt...

8. obsessing over d smallest things (jumjum DOES NT COUNT...she's quite big..)

7. my stu, lagging comp...

6. ppl who prefer 2 honk when they reach ur hse...(hello..lik, DUN use d door bell!)

5. ppl who talk RELI loud when they're on d phone...(actually, tis is juz loudspeaker val...)

4. sweaty boys who touch my water bottle...hands OFF!!

3. anybody who drops my water bottle

2. zac wif his sweaty head lying on MY BED..or, even worse, holding jumjum!

1. mum whenever she yells "jacq!!!!" especially when i'm writing in my blog, tat is...it drives me nuts!! (dad, it's annoying, but i nvr said she's wrong 2 cal me 4 a helping hand..dun yell at me d nex time u cal...hehe)

*atm*

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

22 october 08...weds...

dEaR jUmJuM...

yeah...
2day went back 2 d state library 2 collect my prize....
together wif mr caesar n cam...
juz 2 cheap, baby-ish books tat zac reads...
nt even any certs...
SUCH a disappointment...

anyways...
tats nt wat i wanna say....
wat RELI made an impression on me was wat mr caesar was stressing abt whole day...
especially tat part abt d ex-convict working in d driving range...
i SERIOUSLY wanted 2 break down n cry, ok?
shh....cam, if u tel mr caesar ANYTHING abt tis...
i'll hv ur head on a silver platter in no time!!
i juz need an outlet 2 let out my feelings....
hehe

*atm*

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

21 october 08...tues...can u spell it??

dEaR jUmJuM...

pic: ok...i was sitting there wondering hw 2 put my legs...i was trying 2 tuck my ankle under another lik in princess diaries...but it was uncomfortable so i was lik, wtever...i'll juz cross it..then i felt cold so i kinda hugged myself...n this is d result----i look lik a hooker, so relaxed while everyone looked soo tense!



yep...
2day was D DAY...
lol....
i wasnt reli v nervous...
thanks 2 all of mr caesar's jokes along d way....
n i actually made it 2 d finals!!!
n even 2 d last round!!!
d last round lasted abt 1/2 an hour..(so mr caesar says)...
juz me, her, me, her....
we both juz kept getting all d words wrong...
(seriously i nvr even HEARD of words lik those in my life!!)
until finally d judge said, "n we hv a winner!!!"
i was ready 2 shout out, "finally!!!"
so i gt 2nd place...

lol...it WAS kinda fun....
we were all quite satisfied...
TEE-HEE
...................................................................................
pics: da n diane ask recommended de poses...lol...sooo siao man....
pic: da said i was "reaching 4 d stars"...yeah, rite..oh, n after d comp mr caesar drove us 4 sight-seeing at sum stadium where lin dan once competed wif lee chong wei...(dun ask me when nor who won...i know ntg abt badminton...)
he went off 2 take sum pics...
so di took pics of me in front of d stadium posing wif my blazer...
lol...we went C-R-A-Z-Y!!
its juz one of those days when everyone gets sooo "high"
.....................................................................................
pic:me showing d greedy side of jacq2...taking all 5 at once!pic: da n i...c wat i mean by a "lil tipsy"??? wakakathen after tat we went 4 tea at thompson's corner, opposite chung hua no.4....
da ordered shandy...n i followed suit....
n honestly we both felt a lil tipsy when we reached sch...HEHE
n on d way back 2 sch mr caesar gt hitz.fm on...
n we were all singing 2 "when i'm gone" by simple plan...
(actually...half murmuring la...we were SO tired liao)
LOL
........................................................................................

oh...
n a GREAT BIG THANKS to everybody who helped me in one way or another....
especially da....(as mr caesar called u,"my personal asistant")

for going through all tat drilling wif me....
n giving me tat peck on d cheek b4 i went on stage...
(a lil yucky if u ask me...but i appreciated it!!)
n mr caesar of corz...
4 keeping me so calm...
n for all d jokes tat made us d noisiest group in tat auditorium...LOL
n diane n li ying of corz...
4 juz being there...
(though u guys didnt shout "kuching high boleh!" after every word i spelt right even after u guys SAID U WILL!)
(n diane...where's those pom-poms u said u'll bring???!!!)
haha...
n all d good wishers...!!
MUAKXX!!


pic: presenting....contestant no. 10!!



*atm*

Monday, October 20, 2008

20 october 08...mon...intensive last-ditch effort...

dEaR jUmJuM...

oh man...
i can barely think of wat 2 write nw...
all d alphabets r still swirling around my head...
ponteng-ed whole day 2day...
went 2 ava2 wif da n mr. caesar for preparation 4 tml's comp...
sum of d words i had 2 memorize 2day:

tambourine..
diarrhoea...
archtypal...
homogeneous...
dyslexia...
colloquial...

its nt so much on spelling it...
its saying it out in 20 seconds tat makes me so nervous...
i mean...
if i cud juz take a pencil n write down d word...
it will b a hell lot easier...!!
haiz....

d day was overall quite jolly...
(despite getting a B for sej...sobxx..)
sumtimes da wil flip through d dictionary n randomly ask me sum crazy-never-heard-of-before-word...
i'll look blank n go lik.."ha??"
then mr caesar wil say " freda...dun kill her k?? we stil need her tml..."
then we'll all burst out laughing...LOL...
i admit...we spent A LOT of time chatting...
TEE-HEE....
n d almost-5-hour-drill left me wif a HUGE headache til nw....
sob sob sob...

we'll b arriving at sch aroung 11+ tml...
then going over d other side of d river in mr caesar's car...
hopefully we'll cum back wif happy grins!!
i seriously need all d luck i can get tml!!

*atm*

Sunday, October 19, 2008

19 october 08...sun...

dEaR jUmJuM...

gosh, M I tired!!
woke up this morning...
late 4 breakfast as-per-usual...
so i had it myself...
val asked me 2 tui zac chi...
so..since i'm free anyway...i did...
morning 2 hours, afternoon 2 hours..then i went 2 tui 2 1/2 hours myself...
then...juz as i tot i could brush up on my spelling...
my aunt called2 say tat meg needed help with HER spelling...
so...yeah...giving tuition n attending tuition all day....

right...iwanna share wif u smthng...
i was asking zac d meaning of the chinese cheng yu"zhai jie zhai li"...
n he explained it as " at the street and at the sharp point"...!!
my gosh...
hw i rolled around in helpless laughter..!!

..........................................................................................................

oh oh oh!!
i'm nt slpping 2night!!
cauz cy juz lent me her "secret world of a shopaholic"!!!
hw i ADORE becky bloomwood!!!!!
so i'm staying up all night in attempt 2 swallow d whole novel down!!
hehehe...

*atm*

Friday, October 17, 2008

17 october 08...fri...

dEaR jUmJuM...

FINALS R OFFICIALLY OVER!!!
thank heavens...!!
i've grown 6 pimples on my face dy this week....
tiang says he thinks it's due 2 lack of sleep...lol...

oh, yeah...
i hv a confession 2 make...
all through tis week...
in d exam room...
i was imagining all sorts of crazy stuff while waiting for d clock 2 tick...
lik, wat wud b mdm rosemary's reaction if....
i stood up,
took off my pinafore n swung it roung my head,
n started singing " WHO LET D DOGS OUT?"
"WOOF, WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
LOL...i think she'd hv fainted from shock...
haha...
...........................................................................................................................

oh...n i'll still b studying...
even though i shud be kicking off my shoes by nw...
cauz i'm entering tis spelling competition on tuesday...
awww man...
mr.caesar (accompanying da n i for the competition..)
reli wans me 2 win it though...
cauz he wans 2 go 2 sabah ( talk abt SELFISH!)
lol...
so..yeah...
i'll b spending my weekend with my nose in d dictionary going:
"spelling. s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g. spelling"
lik a nerd...
oh, well...

*atm*